Essay 6

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6. What specific strategies does Seligman suggest to enhance love relationships and marriage? What are the major reasons for divorce, according to research by John Gottman? What specific behaviors has he found that will predict divorce? Outline Gottman’s 5 hour/week program to improve marriage

Answer: 

- What specific strategies does Seligman suggest to enhance love relationships and marriage? What are the major reasons for divorce, according to research by John Gottman? What specific behaviors has he found that will predict divorce? Outline Gottman's 5 hour/week program to improve marriage.

Authentic Happiness book pg 185-197

Seligman specific strategies are on how to enhance love relationships and marriage are: learn how to renew intimacy, enhance respect, and strengthen your love for each other. Some major reasons for divorce according to Gottman are : defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt. Some specific behaviors that he has found uselful to predict a divorce are: A harsh startup in a disagreement, criticism of partner (rather than complaints), displays of contempt, hair-trigger defensiveness, lack of validation(particularly stonewalling), negative body language.

Gottman advices to devote at least five hours per week to our marriages. He suggests to do the following :

Partings : Before you say goodbye every morning, ask your partner what is their plan for today. (2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes)

Reunions: When a workday ends couples should have a low-stress reunion conversation about their day (20 minutes x 5 days = 1 hour, 40 minutes)

Affection: This involves touching, grabbing, holding, kissing with tenderness and forgiveness. (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)

One weekly date: Send two hours in a relaxed atmosphere updating your love (2 hours once a week)

Admiration and appreciation: Showing genuine affection and appreciation at least once per day (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)